Learning to Trust Others More Easily
The times have changed and the way people relate to each other has changed too. Many people have become obsessed with the idea of getting the finest things in life and putting themselves first. They will do anything just to get their way without caring about how others are affected. Who can blame them? We have televisions and social media showing us the kind of lives we all can live if we prioritized financial stability before anything else. It is hard to point out if it is really the economy or selfishness that has pushed people to a corner, where they do not care about anyone else but their immediate families. Given such situations, have you thought about the kind of societies that are being created?
When we normalize having people who care about nothing other than themselves and their financial interests before character development and other important areas, we are losing that part of our lives that makes us different from animals.
It has become hard to trust people. Families and friendships have been torn apart. People are being scammed all around us. Some are used for others’ gains; human trafficking, cheap labor etc.… How do you trust people when things are so bad? How do you know whether you are not running straight into a trap by allowing people into your life? How do you know that your colleagues are working with you and not against you or that you can trust people to do well when you give them tasks? I may not have all the answers but the following will help you learn to trust others easily regardless of the fact that we are increasingly losing our values to selfishness;
- Learn to trust yourself first – unless you trust yourself, you will find it hard to trust others especially for fear of being manipulated or feeling inadequate. Therefore, it is important to work on yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses, work on your mental strength, and believe in your abilities. This way it is easy to understand what draws people to you and what repels them. It will be easier to tell when people are being genuine and when they are not.
- Be knowledgeable – gather as much information as possible. Know your stuff or have at least a rough idea about various topics that are relevant to your life be they related to other professions or a field in your company. For example, although you do not necessarily need to know everything, it will be important to be financially literate. It may be hard to trust your finance department if you do not have an idea of how it operates among other things.
- Open up – form relationships with others and let out a bit of yourself. As you open up, people open up to you too. Seek to understand how the world around you operates and how those you keep close think. It makes it easier to understand the reasons for some events or actions.
- Improve analysis skills – analysis skills are important. They require you to listen and digest what you hear or read to then put together every bit and come up with possible answers. If you have good analysis skills you have an idea of what to expect from different characters and as you interact with them, some things are clarified. You stay alert and can give people a chance instead of judging them from afar and dismissing them before you can know what they have to offer. Give people a chance.
- Look for trustworthy behaviour – learn to look for the good in people and connect with that part. It is their soft spot and you might need to appeal to it first before you let yourself further in. It is a safe space.
- Set boundaries – limit yourself and other people. They should know when to draw the line when interacting with you and you should know not to cross the line too. Stay in your lane and not leave your safe zone. That way you will know that those who respect your boundaries can be trusted. Having boundaries is a way of filtering your contacts.
- Understand that you do not know and cannot do everything – give others a chance to prove themselves. As you do so, do not look for perfection. Rather, look for new things that can be learned. Allow others to use their own methods and they may just be more effective than yours.
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